I wanna go home

Homesick.

That word just about says it all.

First of all, one reason I started this blog is as a certain alternative to keeping a private journal. I've never been good at that, probably because I'm the only one who ever read it -- maybe knowing that others are visiting this blog will help me do this more often than not.

Second, as an outlet for shedding my emotions and thoughts about life (as it doesn't come very natural for me to openly talk about them -- ask Jessica). In sharing my fears, doubts, and heck, even insights, I might better understand my own path...

Also as a natural side-effect, I sincerely hope that this blog will somehow minister something into the lives of you readers. Perhaps through my meanderings and prose you will find some direction and purpose for your own journey -- and if this happens, then it will be all worthwhile.

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I felt so homesick this afternoon. Here I am at work on a Friday, the calls are slow, many of my coworkers are not in today... and for the record my walk with God has felt so good lately... Suddenly I found myself quite displaced and homesick. A homesick that I havent felt for a while -- I am homesick for heaven. That sounds corny, I know, but it is true. I found tears streaming down my face at my desk and I couldn't figure out why. God has been so good to me lately, our house church is going to the next level spiritually, and Jess and I have been blessed so richly lately... all this somehow transformed into a thankfulness so deep, and a loneliness so pointed, that the Lord could have taken me to heaven right then and there. It was like one of those moments where life, marriage, kids, work, ministry... were all of a suddenly in focus within the greater scheme of things, and they seemed so small, temporal, and insignifigant.

It came into focus so clearly at that moment. One day when your spouse is gone, your kids have moved on, and your earthly work is done... we are left with all that we came into the world with: our own mind and heart, and a great big God who lovingly gives us the breath that we breathe. Nothing more.



I guess homesick isn't always a tragedy...