Clarity

Well, it's been too long since I posted on my personal blog. I plan on doing it a bit more.

Recently I felt like my Lord called me to shut myself off from all secondary Christian voices in my life. I got to the point where from reading different books, listening to different Christian radio programs, and reading different articles and websites, I reached a full point. Honestly I dont read and listen to much... but nonetheless all these different voices in my head over the months and years culminated in a lot of confusion. Suddenly I realized that I didn't have clarity on issues like prayer, outreach, and body life and practice - not from lack of information but from an abundance! I am almost always clear on doctrinal issues, as I feel like God has given me clarity in this area. What I have been lacking clarity on is the practical.

How often to pray? How to pray? How and when and why to outreach? What about church gatherings, church planting, and making disciples? All practical aspects of my faith are under fire right now -- not that I'm lacking faith, but that I am lacking clarity and understanding.

So far, I have received some understanding... It seems that Jesus is not into formulas. It seems that he doesnt always give clarity. It would seem that He is more interested in me gaining understanding through relationship with Him little by little rather than gaining understanding from secondary sources in one fell swoop.

Im getting the feeling that God isn't going to give me understanding on these things overnight... but rather that it will take some time. Im getting the feeling also that what might be true and effective in another time and another place with another individual, may not be true or effective with me in 2008, in Aurora Colorado.

Lord, deliver me from the need to have a magic formula. Deliver me from the godless drive to see results rather than the godly effort of having fellowship with God and making disciples... Deliver me from myself, Jesus. Help me to come to you for clarity.

My time away from secondary sources has already given me more room for God. More room for Him. More space to understand and rest in His understanding.