I continue to be baffled by the life that God gives to us His children.Today started great but since has gone a bit downhill. I have been caught in this funk for the past few hours. Frustrated with work, feeling incredibly impatient and annoyed by little things. Feeling trapped. Feeling tired. Feeling far from Him. In fact, the last few days have left me feeling distant from my Lord...
Life just gets busy, especially when working full time and going to school part time, and marriage and kids and chores and finances and church family - oh boy - perhaps you can relate. Sometimes it feels like a grand juggling session.
At least without Him it does.
But then during my afternoon break at work I take a long walk in the sun, and pour out my heart too him bit by bit. Even praying and connecting with Him seems hard right now. But I press through. I've been through this before, and I trust Him enough to know that He has a purpose, even in this. I know that walking with Him is all about faith, and faith requires less-than-par circumstances. Faith wouldn't be faith if circumstances didn't require faith in the first place. As I struggle through my broken conversation with Him I remember this.
About 1 min before I make it to my desk, heading back inside, my countenance begins to change. Frustrated goes to freed and tired goes to peaceful. I feel a freedom in my spirit from Him. I suddenly feel like singing his praises and quoting Psalms about His wonder and goodness and life. His uncreated life which he gives to those who seek to know Him.
I don't understand it and probably never will, how God imparts peace and life into my innermost being. Without realizing it, after spending time with Him, even frustrating, hard time - trying to connect with Him and feeling like I'm not - He pours life into me. He rubs off on me and I can't put my finger on it.
Wonderful mystery. Glorious King.
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